So, I thought I'd add a fun section to the site. This is where you can send in your (legitimate) questions and have a sounding board. We'll start with Mama and then we can all put our input in the comments section below.
Mama is my mother. She's 64 and has been described by some as a real Renaissance woman. She was a go-go dancer on the Hollywood strip in the '60s. She's been a card-carrying feminist since the '50s. She was a member of the NAACP in the '80s. She's worked with abused children (not including myself). She's been married to the same man for 40 years this September. She's worked as an investigator for Affirmative Action issues and now she's a la-ti-da consultant for some mucky-muck corporate attorneys in Tennessee. She scoffs at the description of "crazy" preferring the term"eccentric" instead. She's the woman who put "fun" in dysfunctional. And she is now taking your questions.
This one comes from "Kevin" in Texas...
"I've been married, with kids for 17 years and am reaching that pinnacle in parenthood and relationship where everything seems to be a rerun. So I guess I'm trying to create something other than a sequel, maybe a prequel? OK, I know you can't go back, there's no do over, so how do I jump start things and journey back to the road of happiness? Or is that never never land??"
MAMA SAYS:
"Kevin" - Get a sitter to take the kids on an overnight. If possible, don't let your spouse know ahead of time. If she works out of the home, get home before her. If she doesn't, send her to a friend's, family, or the store for an hour or so (since you have kids, just getting out of the house without them for a brief space of time can be exhilarating). Have the bedroom, kitchen, bath and living room looking spiffy by the time she returns (hire a maid or swap abilities with a friend if you can't do it yourself). Have some clean, romantic smelling candles going in those rooms. Maybe some bubble bath on the side of the tub (no, the kids' bubble bath doesn't count) along with a big, fluffy towel that doesn't smell like old tennis shoes. Surprise her with a meal she doesn't have to cook (or clean up). Lean Cuisine spaghetti slid onto a clean plate after cooking will work if you serve it with a glass of wine. Now here's the part that really works: ask her about her day and just listen! Don't jump in to solve her problems, she can probably do that on her own. Look into her eyes and watch her facial features as she talks. Share your day with her. Ask her opinion on things (then don't say how dumb they are if she shares them). Let her know on a daily basis how special she is: say 'please' and 'thank you' just as though she were a real person. Don't introduce her to others as 'so-and-so's mom' or 'my wife.' Introduce her by saying something like, "and here is the most important person in my life, Stella" (obviously, don't use Stella if her name is Mildred). Call her and talk sexy from time to time or just to say "I was thinking about you." Scratch her back without being asked, rub her feet. Take a dancing class together (many community colleges offer evening classes, and the tango is hot!). In other words, act like this is one unique, sexy lady and you can't wait to find out more about her. Seventeen years, huh? But I bet you can still remember what dating was like, right? Keeping the romance in the relationship is relatively easy when you treat your spouse like you want to be treated. For good advice, the good old golden rule just can't be beat. --Mama
Did Mama offer "Kevin" good advice? Do you have something you want to add? Post your comments below.
MoGilly's Mama Answers Your Questions - "Kevin" in TX
I Read Somewhere...May 15, 2008
Can you say 'ostentatious', boys and girls? Trump estate sells for $100 million.
Angelina Jolie having twins
Girl escapes attacker by BITING OFF PART OF HIS WEE-WEE!
How NOT to be selected for the R Kelly kiddie porn trial
Children's remains and the 100-year-old murder mystery
Did you see what happened on American Idol last night?
Woman falls overboard on cruise ship - what the hell was she doing???
Anchorwoman drops the "f-bomb" live on air
MoGilly's Nephew Graduates from Kindergarten
This just in...my nephew has graduated from Kindergarten!!!! That's my nephew on the right - the one having the Heimlich Maneuver performed on him by an overly exuberant 6-year-old. Apparently, that's a requirement now to move on to first grade - know your letters, know your numbers, perform the Heimlich Maneuver and, time permitting, knock out a tracheotomy or two. Kindergarten is sooo much more cerebral than when we were kids. Sadly, paste eating is no more!
How 'old school' is this? The gym looks exactly the same. The wood floors, the grey, wooden bleachers. It's just like when when I went to school there some 30+ years ago. Do you think they kept it this way to memorialize me? A tribute, so to speak? How did they know I'd become who I am today? I'm touched. I feel truly honored. But this shouldn't be about me, it's about my nephew...lil' whatshisface.
Actually, we call lil' whathisface A.J. but after seeing these photos we might want to start calling him 'Playa' or 'LL Cool A.'
Yo, Yo, Yo. What up, ya'll? Ladies Love Cool A. We outta here. PEACE! MoGilly Gets Another Response to her BFF AD
EMAIL FROM ANONYMOUS in GA: Couldn't help but wonder how dysfunctional u might be :-)
MY RESPONSE: Lol. :-) You're quite insightful. I'm extremely screwed up - did you see the picture of my mother? Now, picture that woman married to an ultra-conservative Republican. Can you imagine the turmoil that existed in my childhood?
NOTE: picture of Mom can be found under "Happy Mother's Day" blog entry
MoGilly Gets Her First BFF Candidate
Here's some correspondence between BFF candidate "Tiffany" (from Georgia) and myself. What'd ya think, she in?
"TIFFANY'S" EMAIL to ME: I read your ad and i just laughed and laughed. My name is "Tiffany" and I have two girls 6 and 7 months. I just broke up with my longtime boyfriend/fiance and I have just relocated to Georgia. People describe me as sarcastic and cynical but in a good way (whatever that means) i like to have a good time usually at the expense of others. I've also have been told that i give great advice despite my age. basically whenever one of my "friends" calls i answer with "whats wrong" because they only call me when they want my opinion. so enough about tales of my mediocre friends and my sarcastic nature....how are you?
MY RESPONSE: Hi "Tiffany" :-)
Yea! You sound sane!!! That's an excellent quality in a BFF. I hope you had a fabulous Mother's Day. Me, I got chased out of the bedroom early in the morning thanks to the odoriferous smell emanating from my husband's general direction. I fixed breakfast for me and the kids- deciding to let the smelly man starve. Then, I painted the family room. And later, I showed remarkable restraint when my husband dumped a load of laundry on the couch and said, "here you go."
I love my husband, I swear I do, I just don't remember why. ;-)
Because I'm a military spouse, we're always moving so it's difficult to make new friends. At some point you just want to throw up your hands and say screw it, I'm destined to mutter to myself so I should probably get started on that drinking habit right about now.
I'm hoping the blog will develop a readership of like-minded women with friendships that cross state lines. A national network, so to speak, of BFFS.
So are you in hotlanta? We used to live in Cochran, GA a few years back. Hot, sticky, muggy. Found a rat snake in my house - nearly pissed myself. And the day we put our house on the market (with our first open house) there was a half burned body found across the street. So that was nice.
So, where'd you move from? How do the girls like the new locale?
"TIFFANY'S" EMAIL TO ME: HA HA!! Yes, sanity should be a prerequisite when applying for the position as BFF! My youngest is basically a sack of potatoes with a smile so she doesn't know the difference. My oldest got an awesome welcome to Georgia initiation. WELCOME TO GEORGIA: *SPLAT* she falls off the monkey bars shatters her elbow and has to have surgery. Just what I always wanted-- two kids to wait on hand and foot.
Mother's Day was like any other day for me. I changed diapers and counted the number of times my oldest had a tantrum over absolutely nothing. (I think I counted 6 that day)
We are originally from Chicago. After my fiance or "common law husband" was caught cheating on me throughout my pregnancy I decided to take the opportunity to move far far away.
How old are your children?
MY RESPONSE: What a bag of douche, that guy. I hope you severed a testicle as a souvenier of time served.
I used to live in Chicago - actually, it was Evanston. I was a nanny there when I was about 19. Great family, pretty sure they had ties to the mob, though. FBI showed up at the house my first day on the job asking what I knew about the neighbors. The family eventually moved to Lake Forest and I moved back to Tennessee - missed my own family.
I have two boys ages 14 and 9. My eldest wants to be a stand-up comedian. I don't get his humor but he kills with the elementary crowd. My youngest wants to be a baseball player. Fortunately, neither one of them are planning on going into a career field where their grades are going to have any significant impact on their future.
Sorry to hear about your daughter's injury. I am not good with emergencies. Mother-of-the Year that I am, I'd be like, "Are you bleeding? Then you're fine. Shake it off." And if it was all mangled, I'm pretty sure I'd pass out. But I'm not a totally irresponsible mom, I keep emergency numbers in my purse should my kids need to call an ambulance for themselves.
So "Tiff," to keep things entertaining, I'd like to post portions of our correspondence on the site - you cool with that? I won't put anything on there, you don't want anyone to read.
"TIFFANY'S" EMAIL TO ME: Yea, thats cool with me. I haven't sent you any nude photo's or discussed my unuasul crush on Alton Brown with you so I have no problem with it.
Note from MoGilly: I definitely think "Tiffany" is BFF material. And you? Post your comments below.
I Read Somewhere...May 14, 2008
Coming soon to FOX - rich folk sent to the ghetto to live (undercover) amongst the poor on a teeny-tiny budget
Teenager elected Mayor of Muskogee, Oklahoma
This ten-year-old has an A-plus average and, oh yeah, he's a sophmore in college
What the crap happened to Colin Farrell? Honey, EAT something!
Deadly tornadoes and the heroes born from the wreckage
Spoiler alert for the season finale of "Lost" or what I like to call "What the hell?"
A mother's unbelievable grief - daughter murdered, son killed in car accident as he rushes to his mother's side
MoGilly and What 7 Years of Speech Therapy Will Get You
So I saw this post on Dooce.com and thought I'd try it out.
Word Time = a flickr group where people upload video of themselves reading a list of assigned words.
Show of hands for the proposed group motto -- "When mocking someone in person, just isn't good enough."
Here's my sitch - Displaced southern girl who spent 7 years of her childhood in speech therapy. Words like stethoscope and rural do not come easy. Married to a man who refuses to believe that ya'll is a word and needs a translator every time he ventures south of the Mason-Dixon line.
I did this video with the hubster. He won't show his face on camera - he's from Connecticut, ya'll.
