MoGilly's Mama Answers Your Questions - "Kevin" in TX

So, I thought I'd add a fun section to the site. This is where you can send in your (legitimate) questions and have a sounding board. We'll start with Mama and then we can all put our input in the comments section below.

Mama is my mother. She's 64 and has been described by some as a real Renaissance woman. She was a go-go dancer on the Hollywood strip in the '60s. She's been a card-carrying feminist since the '50s. She was a member of the NAACP in the '80s. She's worked with abused children (not including myself). She's been married to the same man for 40 years this September. She's worked as an investigator for Affirmative Action issues and now she's a la-ti-da consultant for some mucky-muck corporate attorneys in Tennessee. She scoffs at the description of "crazy" preferring the term"eccentric" instead. She's the woman who put the "fun" in dysfunctional. And she is now taking your questions.

This one comes from "Kevin" in Texas...
"I've been married, with kids for 17 years and am reaching that pinnacle in parenthood and relationship where everything seems to be a rerun. So I guess I'm trying to create something other than a sequel, maybe a prequel? OK, I know you can't go back, there's no do over, so how do I jump start things and journey back to the road of happiness? Or is that never never land??"

MAMA SAYS:
"Kevin" - Get a sitter to take the kids on an overnight. If possible, don't let your spouse know ahead of time. If she works out of the home, get home before her. If she doesn't, send her to a friend's, family, or the store for an hour or so (since you have kids, just getting out of the house without them for a brief space of time can be exhilarating). Have the bedroom, kitchen, bath and living room looking spiffy by the time she returns (hire a maid or swap abilities with a friend if you can't do it yourself). Have some clean, romantic smelling candles going in those rooms. Maybe some bubble bath on the side of the tub (no, the kids' bubble bath doesn't count) along with a big, fluffy towel that doesn't smell like old tennis shoes. Surprise her with a meal she doesn't have to cook (or clean up). Lean Cuisine spaghetti slid onto a clean plate after cooking will work if you serve it with a glass of wine. Now here's the part that really works: ask her about her day and just listen! Don't jump in to solve her problems, she can probably do that on her own. Look into her eyes and watch her facial features as she talks. Share your day with her. Ask her opinion on things (then don't say how dumb they are if she shares them). Let her know on a daily basis how special she is: say 'please' and 'thank you' just as though she were a real person. Don't introduce her to others as 'so-and-so's mom' or 'my wife.' Introduce her by saying something like, "and here is the most important person in my life, Stella" (obviously, don't use Stella if her name is Mildred). Call her and talk sexy from time to time or just to say "I was thinking about you." Scratch her back without being asked, rub her feet. Take a dancing class together (many community colleges offer evening classes, and the tango is hot!). In other words, act like this is one unique, sexy lady and you can't wait to find out more about her. Seventeen years, huh? But I bet you can still remember what dating was like, right? Keeping the romance in the relationship is relatively easy when you treat your spouse like you want to be treated. For good advice, the good old golden rule just can't be beat. --Mama

Did Mama offer "Kevin" good advice? Do you have something you want to add? Post your comments below.